Burnouts are probably some of the hardest times I have ever been through. I get to the point where I just get so tired of managing my diabetes that I want to give up. The only problem is that diabetes is a 24/7 disease. There are no taking breaks or saying “I’ll come back to that later”. You have to check your blood sugar, correct if it is too high or too low, change your sites, etc.
I had this one time where I was changing my Dexcom site and it started bleeding out of nowhere once the needle went in. I felt a pinch, but it wasn’t the worst pain I had ever felt. I immediately ripped it off, got a wet cloth to wipe the site, and waited a few minutes to change it. I was terrified but I didn’t show it.
Once the site had stopped bleeding, I got a new Dexcom package and a piece of Tegaderm (adhesive tape). I put on the Tegaderm, opened my Dexcom package and put it on where I thought it should go. My mom and I were leaving the house in about a half and hour so I knew I had to do it quickly. I looked down and was about to put it in when a bunch of thoughts were running through my head. “What if it hurts? What if it gets infected? What happens if the needle gets stuck and won’t pull out?”. All of these thoughts that I couldn’t control.
My mom came in and asked if I was ready to go yet. I got so stressed because I wasn’t ready but we had to leave. I freaked out and couldn’t control anything. I started crying but didn’t know why. She sat with me and told me to think of something else. Nothing could get my mind off of the fact that it may bleed again and hurt really bad. I had given up but I knew that I had to change the site.
Now I know some of my diabuddies are probably saying, “Why didn’t you just wait to put it on?”. Not having my Dexcom on gets me very anxious because sometimes I feel like I am fine, but I am very low.
An hour and half went by, I stopped crying and calmed down. I told myself that all of the diabetics that I follow on Instagram do it in less than two seconds. I don’t know how, but they do. I pushed the button in and didn’t feel a thing. For a second I thought it didn’t work, but it did.
Until this day, I still do not know what happened but I knew it was definitely a burnout that I will never forget. I know many people who have gone through them and I know exactly how they feel. Burnouts are horrible and I know that many diabetics and even non-diabetics can relate if they have ever been through a burnout.
If you ever experience a burnout, know that it will be over soon and you can go back to your stress-free, happy life. You are not alone and you can always talk to someone about it.